Because Mondays weren’t bad enough

Five down!! One to go.

Unfortunately I don’t have a whole lot of positivity to share. I mean, less than three weeks until my hopefully last treatment, and that’s exciting. And my white blood cell count didn’t go down any more with this last blood test, which means I (so far) avoid having to do a patch treatment that adds more pain because it uses your bone marrow to produce white blood cells.

So there is some good stuff.

But I’m currently having the most challenging time I’ve had through all of this.

Today is a huge struggle.

I always go into the Monday after chemo knowing it’s going to be hard. There’s going to be pain, nausea, weakness and for lack of better terms… a surplus of emotions.

I try my best to mentally prepare myself, but last night my preparation involved car trouble (sputtering and stalling) and praying we made it to at least autozone to see what was wrong. Super scary knowing if we broke down somewhere, my legs don’t even work right to walk anywhere. Little things you don’t even normally think about.

We did make it to the auto place. And according to the codes, I have a cylinder misfiring. I called the dealership this morning and they said they’d get me in at their soonest available time… October 16th. Or I can drop it off and they “might” be able to give me a rental car for which they’ll cover up to $30 a day when it costs more like $60 a day. Sigh. 😞

I hate cars. And I hate car dealerships and especially the warranty salespeople whose job it is to see how far they can screw you so they can put a few more bucks in their pocket.

Anyway.

My legs are especially weak today, and in a lot of pain, more than they have been, which is expected (for it to build on itself). I can hardly walk, but my mind tells me I have SO much to do. The kitchen needs cleaning. Kids have to get up. Lunches need made. All before my workday even starts.

In the midst of waking up kids who were supposed to already be up by yelling up the stairs because I can’t walk up them, the dog is in my bathroom pooping all over the floor.

So my chemo-nauseous self is on the bathroom floor on my hands and knees cleaning up soft poop and bleaching the bathroom rug and gagging.

Desperately hoping this day/week turns around. I’m losing strength for all of this quickly. 😔

One. More. Cycle. 🤞🏼